I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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