Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize