She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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