love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
