Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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