Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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