R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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