Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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