I love black thongs
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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