just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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