So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
