too bad you live with your parents still
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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