So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize