Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
