i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
