But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
