I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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