K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
