it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
