Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize