just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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