i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
