I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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