Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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