I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
