I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
