Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
