Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize