i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
