I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
