i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
