NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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