Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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