garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
