Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
