yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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