the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
