puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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