hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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