can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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