Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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