We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize