TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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