So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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