I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
