I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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