I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
