He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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