well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just threw up on my dentist
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
