quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
