Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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