All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
