is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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