She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
