I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
