I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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