he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Green mimosas i think yes
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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