Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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