Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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