So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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