Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
