Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Is it penis luge time yet?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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